the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
