All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
