Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize