It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
