Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
