How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
