I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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