idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Ketchup is God's man juice
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
