i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
