Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
My ass is underappreciated
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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