Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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