Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize