I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
