it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
