Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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