My room smells like vodka and shame
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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