Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
