Me too!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
