the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
