I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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