i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
So many bounce houses so little time
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
try to milk me bitch
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