I think I just saw someone hide a body.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
