the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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