Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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