yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Bring me that man meat
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
