ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
my being single is dangerous.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
