1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
