I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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