Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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