Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
