So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
