I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
