When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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