hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Randomize
