Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I believe in your delicious
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
