my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
