I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
