omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
