He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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