.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
