I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
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