He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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