She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
