My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
