Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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