Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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