I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
