420 ftw
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Just puked most of my soul out..
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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