I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize