do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
