yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
