Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
