He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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