omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
