My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
