the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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