Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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