I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
