So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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