Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
