I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
