like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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