I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
We need to rekindle our bromance
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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